When We Die

The same cells and atoms which contained our thoughts and feelings compost and become dirt and plants for other animals to eat and nourish themselves.

Our conscious minds are no more, simply because the electrical impulses in our brain no longer have the energy to function.

But so many people wonder and wish and pray that their thoughts will live on after them in the form of a soul.

To me, a soul resides in a collective memory of what people believed a person to be. We don’t get to decide. But neither does a god. Our memories are simply carried on until they are forgotten. Or chronicled for future generations like Shakespeare.

But WE don’t live on. And that’s scary, I get it. I am afraid of death because I know it’s the end and I want to get as much done as I can before then.

But the entire point of NOT having a heaven to retreat to in death is that I have to do everything I’d like to now and my timeframe is not set in stone. I could die tomorrow and you’d miss me but I’ll either be gone forever or in some hell with no respite. An act that would be entirely my own fault, and if I ever meet the Devil I’ll be sure to tell them I was wrong.

You can’t change my mind that there is no heaven or hell. Maybe it scares you that I will be in hell someday? An old girlfriend (like a partner type girlfriend) once told me she was sad at the thought that I would be in hell some day. We were in a lesbian relationship at the time. Do y’all just get to pick and choose when you think people go to heaven?

But, even though I’m so afraid of death, I am happy with my personal beliefs and would not like you to try to change them just because your pastor told you to help me. K, thx.

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